Love in the Digital Age: Can you truly love someone in the virtual realm?

Last updated on July 5th, 2024 at 01:01 pm

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This post can go hand in hand with yesterday’s post and this one too. I know I’ve been sharing my thoughts on relationships lately but as someone who’s single, all of these topics make me think. I get dating is not like it used to be. I also get that many people have found love via dating sites and apps.

Yet what gets me is when someone confesses they love someone. That’s when I’m like wait a minute. How can you love someone you’ve never met in person. Okay, I know what your thinking we can love a celebrity crush or in my case a musician that we’ve never met. I meant more realistically.

Is it really love?

I can see when you chat with someone over time you tend to develop a fondness for them. This may not be the case for everyone. Each situation is different but follow along with me for a minute.

I will go back to my friend’s case for a moment. Her friend confessed that he loves her. Now to me that sort of raises a few red flags. Yes, they have chatted virtually for years and had video chats as well. Yet to me that doesn’t always seem to convey a person true nature. Again in some cases, it might.

For instance, I can come off as flirty in a chat but can’t flirt to save my life when I interact with a possible love interest. But I can see how video chats might give you more insight into a person personality because you see their facial expressions.

I think even with the above factors listed there still might be an element of fantasy or ideal love. I think you can find the idea of someone new appealing.

Could it be an ideal love?

This goes along with the above topic. Is love really love or are you fooling yourself into thinking it is? Yeah, I know that may not have made sense but what I’m trying to get at is are you really in love with the person on the other side of your screen or are you in love with the idea of them?

Let’s entertain the notion of being in love with the idea of the person your chat with regularly. Granted you can fantasize about how life would be with them. But wouldn’t that be an idealized love? In your mind, you would have (dare I say) the perfect life together. Yeah I know that’s a bit childish but I think some people try to paint that picture for themselves.

Red Flag Alert

Getting back to the red flags for a moment. Even if you chat with someone regularly. The bombshell of I love you is a big one. It’s not like you can slip that into the course of a conversation and try to play it off. I think we can all admit we enjoy flattery. Even if it’s awkward it makes you feel good about yourself.

Maybe I’m just a bit jaded or maybe too alert due to numerous encounters that I’ve had online with what I like to call Social Media Romeos That being said it’s hard to believe that someone can love you without meeting you in person. Even with online chats or video calls, there is still a gray area. Since you may not always know this person’s intentions fully. Yeah I know I went off on a ramble right here sorry. But I think you know what I mean. When you meet in person you have a sense of the person.

If it’s truly love then what?

So moving along with this theory let’s say love does blossom. That’s all fine and dandy but then what? If you’re living in opposite parts of the country or even the world how would you come together? Then other factors come into play as well. Would you meet each other to see if your chemistry is really there?

So many more questions

My brain took this idea and ran with it the other night. I won’t bore you with the million questions i have but they are basically the ones listed above.

My main one is how would you justify your love for someone you’ve never met in person. Again let’s factor out celebrity crushes. Justify may not be the right word so let’s say how would you validate your love. You can develop admiration or fascination or even infatuation with someone.

It’s always nice to have someone to chat with at the end of the day or week or whatever your chatting schedule is. Flattery or compassion can also play a factor too. If your someone who isn’t used to certain forms of attention it can make your heart skip a beat.

But again I go back to the start to ask Can you truly love someone in the virtual realm?

Feel free to share your thoughts on the topic.